Thursday, May 11, 2017

Nature

     It's all around us. The leaves on the trees, the grass on the dirt. Our lives, they revolve around nature. Every bit of them. When the rays of the moon glisten off the lake. The cold, crisp air pricking your fingertips. The undeniable beauty of the sunset. The crystal clear grace of a single drop of rain. Nature is beauty, and sadly some of us our unappreciative of the blessing we have received.
 
      Petrichor. The smell of the earth, after rain. The smell of peace. The feeling that means, no worries, the feeling of calmness all throughout your body. This is the word that takes the stress away. It may seem like nothing, but this is the feeling of home. Petrichor. The smell of home, the smell of rain.

      There are many things nature has offered me. The chance to explore. Opertunities. Ways to escape. Escape from reality. To go outside and see the beauty of a rainbow and feel the breeze of a calming wind. Nature can help everyone in any way. But only if you allow it.


Sunday, March 26, 2017

Weather & a bit more.

    It is March 26th. MARCH. And I can't go outside. Well, there are many reasons why I can't go outside, but the main being it is absolutely freezing. It is spring and it is absolutely freezing. The second reason is that I'm sick and can barely get the will power to get out of bed but that's just me, Mother Nature is my main problem here.
    Although it may not show through my figure I really do love to go outside. I love the rain and the sun and the flowers that flow in the windy breeze so it's truly depressing to be trapped inside my 700 square foot apartment with nothing but a loud sister and laundry to fold. At least I have about 15 pages of homework to do! (That was sarcasm if you couldn't tell) So I am currently in the cave in my bed after watching the same movie four times in less than a day, and blogging based on an idea that I got from a friend. I'm pretty tired.
    Now to the other reason I can't go outside, my stupid immune system. If you know me pretty decently you'd know that I am allergic to every kind of grass on this earth. I am not kidding. Every single kind. Ugh. So I've been in bed for 3 days coughing sneezing and dying with a severe lung infection. Thanks a bunch, allergy season.
    Other than that life is fine. School is fine. I'm fine 👍

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Smiles.

    I think of a smile as a precious gift. A gift that you need to decide who receives. Smiles are some of my favorite things in the world because no matter who you are, you're smile is beautiful and it will always brighten my day. A smile is showing someone that you acknowledge and appreciate their existence. I love to smile and even though I hate my teeth I always but that insecurity aside in an effort to spread some happiness.  Sometimes this world is a harsh place but if we all put in a little bit of effort to make the people around us happy, then maybe we can make our earth better for everyone. 

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Passion Project

    Regarding one of my lasts posts about presentations, I would like to take this week's post to talk about a project that we are taking part in this year called the Passion Project. This is a project where we were able to choose anything that was a passion of ours and believe it or not, make a project out of it. We would be devoting 1/5 of our class time in language arts to this project, and along with this we would have to work outside of class to get this project complete.
    Now that you hopefully get the jist of what the project is about, I'm going to go back to the presentations. I now feel two things regarding presentations. One half of me hates them and thinks that the only thing that they do is give me anxiety. The other half of me knows how important they are to being my definition of successful in my future. So I guess you could say it's a love-hate relationship. Myself, being a good student, and a very hardworking person, I tend to put 100% effort into anything regardless of it I enjoy it or not. So to conclude the part of this blog about presentations, I will say that I am going to work hard to keep more of an open mind. 
    Now to get to the other part of my Passion Project. The topic. Music has always been a very large aspect of my life, and with my project I am working to further explore that. I will be writing notes and lyrics for 5 original songs, then when complete I will record and post them. Being about half way through the project right now, I have run into many obstacles which have made it hard to continue with the project. The main obstacle has been self doubt. Just last week I had a fully complete song, which I then completely scrapped because I was having second thoughts about sharing that aspect of my life. Most of my songs so far are quite personal and I haven't been able to deal with sharing them. I have only told one person about the songs I have written. My best friend, who has been super sweet and amazing with boosting my confidence throughout the process. She is probably the nicest person I've ever met. But the other people in my life, I am sadly having a hard time trusting, even my parents. Especially my parents. But I'm hoping that once I share the music, I will be able to think differently.

Friday, December 30, 2016

Why?

    I have heard many things throughout my life, but I choose carefully what I listen to, and lately I haven't been enjoying what I'm listening to. The amount of hate that was been going around lately is absurd. And my question is, why? Why does hurting me, make you feel better? Why does disrespecting me, make you any more respectable? How does calling me an idiot, make you any smarter? And how does harming me, make your scars fade. The answer is simple, it doesn't. So why? Why do you choose not to think before you speak or act? Why don't you think about the fact, that you could be wrong? Or that what may be nothing to you, could be everything to me.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Presentations

    Presentations. They always were, and always will be my least favorite part about school. I would love my current Language Arts teacher to read this, and understand my reasoning. Sadly, the only people that read this blog are some random people from France, but I'm gonna pretend the whole world is reading this, so they understand my point of view.

     I grew up, and I gradually found a voice. Not a big one, but it's what I got. I use it to stand up for what's right, and to share my opinions (respectfully) with the rest of the world, or at least whoever cares enough to listen. I have always had this voice, like a fire deep inside me that I was desperate to put out. This is why I like to blog. These are my opinions. No arguing. Just me. Just me and my problems. And now I'm sharing my problems with my phone, and even though no one is listening, this is my way of sharing. I don't want to force a class full of people to sit and stare at me stutter through a presentation. It isn't me. It's the me who wants an A. The real me, with my real opinions, is here. Where I know i won't be judged, mostly because there isn't anyone to judge me, but you get the point.

    Now that's the 1st reason. A paragraph about who knows what. Here's the other reason. The simple, one word reason. Anxiety. I apologize to the many teachers who have had to deal with my anxiety attacks. The suck, trust me, I know first hand. But the real problem is that some teachers have this thing about getting me out of my "comfort zone". Believe me, if that's how it worked, then I would've been rocking these presentations since 4th grade. But every year I stutter my way through my presentation, and then go and have an anxiety attack after. It's not fun. You'd think teachers would just let me write an essay, but instead, I have to embarrass myself in front of the entire class, and get 10% off my grade because there's "no flow" in my presentation. Sounds fun, doesn't it?

Thursday, December 1, 2016

The Cards I've Been Dealt.

    My dad always tells me that these are the cards that we've been dealt, and there is nothing we can do to change that. I am finally beginning to see the positivity, rather than the negativity I have tried to replace it with my entire life. I would think that it sounded like we were giving up, and saying that this was the end and we could not change our fate.
    Recently my dad and I have been dealt a pretty rough deck. Last month our apartment got flooded because of a broken pipe, and while I had the flu, we were forced to stay in a pretty bad hotel for a week. Not the best week of my life, but somehow he stayed so positive throughout the entire experience. I was shocked, and honestly baffled. About two weeks later a random person used his credit card number to take almost all of the money out of his bank account. Still positive, acting like it was no big deal. I knew that he was not happy about the current situation, but whenever he talked to me about it, he kept assuring me that everything would be okay, which I am very thankful for. Now 2 days ago, I wasn't really sure what else could possibly happen to us, but to my surprise, his car broke down. It was snowing and we had places to go, but his car decided to stop working. So, there I was, walking to starbucks in cold, windy, snowy, pretty much awful weather, alone, wondering honestly what else could possibly go wrong. And luckily nothing else has, yet. *sigh*
    Lately I've been thinking, just realizing how thankful I am that I have my dad in my life. He always wants the best for me even if sometimes he's not exactly sure how to provide that. For example, if I even mention the word "stress" he takes my homework or textbook and makes my take a break. I don't always think it's the best thing to at that time, but in the long run I know it's good for me. He represents what family means to me. We have gotten through so many hard times together and I wouldn't have been able to survive any of it without his love and support. He knows that we don't have the perfect life, and there are definitely people who have it better than us. He makes sure that I know that even though we are not perfect, that we are very privileged, and that I should be thankful for everything I am lucky enough to have. He makes me aware that my life is hard but that I'm doing a good job with what I have.